Childish Pleasures
by Forced Smile
Summary: Zexion is ten years old, dang it! He doesn't need a babysitter! And he sure doesn't need Mr. Interesting Development hogging Mr. Babysitter, either! AkuRoku, Zemyx


Why hello! How are you? I've missed you. I hope you've missed me. Whoever you are :P Um, so. This is a very good example of how much I enjoy putting things off. I said this would be done in one night to Pira The Sarcastic. It's been like, two weeks. Oh the life. Way to go, Jessi. Way. To. Go. So, of course, disclaim'd. Uh, enjoy~

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"Mom, I don't need a babysitter!" It was a repeating theme in the Valentine household. Mother made plans, Father was dragged along, brother number one played yet another girl, and brother number two was stuck at home.

Mother, as played by the lovely Lucrecia Valentine, would then proceed to hire the family's usual babysitter, Roxas Hikari; this would all be fine, if ten year olds didn't have the tendency to argue for no good reason.

"Zexion, please stop arguing. You're going to make your father and I late." The common pout formed on brother number two's face, wide, cobalt eyes glistening with unshed, childish tears.

"But Moooooooooom!"

"Zexion," Mrs. Valentine whirled, loosely coiled brunette locks of hair whipping around with her face as she glared half-heartedly at her youngest son. "please. This is a very important night to me and your father!"

"Lucrecia! We're going to be late!" Vincent Valentine, aka Father, stepped out of the kitchen, tugging at his red suit and the constricting black tie. His wife sighed, shuffling quickly over to her husband in her black stilettos.

"Just tuck in your tie, Vince. You'll look fancier…" she sighed, stifling a giggle as he blushed lightly. Zexion took a seat on the couch, fighting tears.

"Mooooooooooooom-"

"Zexion, listen to your mother."

"Daaaaad-"

"Oh my…" Kadaj Valentine stepped out from the bathroom, straightening his leather jacket and resuming his role as brother number two instead of gang leader number one. "I don't think I can take much more of my little brother's crying. Can't we just drop him off somewhere? Perhaps in acid?"

"Kadaj!" Lucrecia shrieked, smoothing down her red dress as she thawed her son on the arm. "That's terrible!"

"… sorry mother."

"Mom! I don't neeeeed a babysitter!" Zexion continued, sweeping slate blue bangs back away from his eye so his family could see he was still crying. He was almost eleven, okay? He didn't need a babysitter. He didn't need Roxas. He didn't need anything! He knew how to flip the pages of a book, he was _fine._

"Nonsense, Zexion. You're only ten and- Oh my gosh! We need to go!" Lucrecia grabbed her husband's wrist, shuffling him through the door before turning around to press a kiss to each of her son's foreheads. "Kadaj, have fun. Don't get into trouble. Zexion, don't give Roxas a hassle, please?"

The two chorused a quick, "Yes mother. Love you mother. Goodbye father." and their parents were gone. Kadaj came next, thwapping his sniffling brother upside the head before turning towards the backdoor. "I'm out, tell mother goodnight when she arrives back home."

Then he was gone too.

Zexion sat quite alone on the couch for a few more moment, sighing and pouting as he made his way into the kitchen. The silence of the house pressed in on his ears, ringing and drawing forth an angry mumble of "it's too quiet…" as he pulled the milk out of the fridge.

"I hate Kadaj," he groaned to himself, filling the silence and easing the loneliness ten year olds hated with a burning passion. "He always brings home those girls and guys and night… and dad is really scary." his small hands struggled to keep hold of the cold, white dairy as he waddled over to the counter. "Hup!" he said as he hopped up onto the tall stool.

"Stupid stool…" he glared petulantly at the seat before blinking as he realized he forgot the Awesome Walrus-O's in the pantry. "Oh the life."

Finally, when the child was just about to poor the milk into the bowl he had ALSO forgotten-

"ZEXION!" the front door slammed as best friend's, played by the musical Demyx Kichi, voice rang through the house.

"AHH!"

Demyx tip-toed into the kitchen, smiling like the awesome ninja he was, before calling out quietly his friend's name. "Hello…?"

"I'm down here, you twat." Zexion's muffled voice came from the linoleum, scaring the blonde out of his wits so he also fell on the floor.

"Oh, hello Zexy!" he grinned from atop the bluenette's milk soaked blue button-up shirt. "How are you?"

"Dying. Get off, please."

"Oh! S-sorry!"

As the two stood, Zexion sighed and patted the other ten-year old on his sandy blonde mullet, drawing forth his best friend's signature grin. "Why are you here, Dem?"

"Well, I thought I'd give you back your Batman hoodie." Demyx smiled, beginning to pull it up and over his head. "You left it at my house."

Blushing heavily, the other averted his eyes. "U-uh huh. Okay." Zexion hummed, studying a very interesting picture of his Aunt Butt. "Can I have my key back too?"

"No," Demyx grinned, pulling the article up and over his head and handing it to Zexion. He brushed down his The Balamb Garden band tour t-shirt. "I'm going to use it when I need to get in your house."

"Oh." Zexion said, returning his eyes to connect with Demyx's own turquoise. "Okay."

"So anyway, I need to go. Mom needs me back home to help with dinner." the kid backed up, throwing his arms behind his head as a makeshift pillow. He backed up towards the door, converse leaving faint trails of dirt on the beige carpet. "So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure," Zexion nodded, following after best friend.

"So… by-"

_Knock knock knock!_

Demyx whirled around, staring at Zexion's door, then back at Zexion. "Roxas is here to _baby sit_ me," Zexion groaned, strolling around Demyx to open the door and allow babysitter, as played by Roxas Hikari, to step in from the threshold.

Followed by Mr. Interesting Development.

"Hello, Zexion!' Roxas practically sang as he walked in the door, followed by a very pouty redhead. "How are you- … oh! Is this a friend?" Roxas was the feel-good babysitter. He would compliment and cook, not favoring his cell phone for the whichever child he was babysitting. Zexion especially liked him because he wouldn't pressure Zexion into talking. Or baking. Or dress-up. Or shutting up and sitting on the couch quietly while he watched ESPN.

(Zexion took great pleasure when Lucrecia fired Rikku, Yuna, Sora, and Tidus.)

(Most of all Tidus.)

"Don't be any nicer Roxas, could give the kiddies diabetes…" Mr. Interesting Development snorted under his breath. Roxas' smile faltered.

"Yah!" Demyx smiled, hopping up and extending a hand as Roxas reeled back into the taller, redheaded mystery's chest at the sudden outburst. "I'm Demyx!"

The two shook hands, Roxas a tad nervously at the bubbly boy. "I-I see. Nice to meet you Demyx. Uh, I wasn't told I'd be babysitting two kids today…"

"You aren't," Zexion spoke up, cobalt eyes still fixed on the tall redhead almost hiding behind Roxas.

"I mean, it'd be no trouble…" Roxas mumbled, patting the other, shorter blonde on the head. "Can you stay?"

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"So, boys, what're you two in the mood for? Fruit?"

"Um… no." Zexion tapped his chin. After Demyx had called home, the four had migrated to the kitchen where Roxas had pulled out a variety of random ingredients from Zexion's pantry. The coke bottled eyed redhead hung back, running his hand through his spiky, spiky red hair every few seconds.

"So, Roxas!" Demyx clapped his hands once, then stretched them out towards the lighter haired blonde, grinning. "You can cook anything? Oh and uh, who's the big scary guy with the red hair and diamond tattoos? OW! Zexion! That hurt!"

"Don't speak out of place, Demy." Zexion said patiently.

"No! Zexion, no hitting!" Roxas scolded, "and Demyx, yes, I can pretty much cook what you guys want. Also, the big scary red head will introduce himself. Right, Axel?"

"Ngh."

"Axel, please?"

"Fine, fine. Hello kiddos. I'm Axel, I hate kids." the redhead said smiled, shaking each of the children's hands.

"Wow… he's… polite." Zexion snorted.

"Wow, way to be nice Axel." Roxas mumbled sullenly. "So, dinner. Ideas?"

"Shpaghetti!"

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, Roxas, I think he means 'spaghetti'…" Zexion smiled, giggling quietly. Out of the corner of his eye, Zexion watched Axel plop down onto the tall stool in front of the bluenette.

"Yah," Demyx twittered, sheepish grin working it's way onto his face. "What Zexy said."

"I think I can do that… yah. You two go wait in the living room so I can get the noodles boiling."

"Alright!"

"okay."

"Axel, can you please watch them for me?" Roxas asked, turning to face the young man with wide, baby blues.

"Sure, I'll watch 'em." Axel grinned, spinning off his seat and turning around the island counter. Before either of the kids he was being put in charge of could move to follow, however, he snatched both by their waists, whisking them off and into the living room.

"Axel!" Roxas cried, poking his head out from behind the wall the three had disappeared behind. "Don't hurt them!"

"Roxas help!"

"No, we're fine!" Demyx's giggle rang through the house.

"Stop spinning me you big, stupid oaf!"

"Ouch," Axel's voice came next, drowned with false self pity. "That's harsh-"

"I'MGETTINGNAUSEOUS-"

"Ahaha, Zexion, shush! You're gonna wake up China!"

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"So, what do you guys wanna watch?" Axel asked after he'd cleaned up the bite wound Zexion had left on his bicep. (He'd warned him, so that naturally gave Zexion the right to destroy him.) … (Or at least try to.)

"Um… Spongebob?" Demyx suggested, scratching his temple.

"Oh cool, talking sponges. I can dig it." Axel shrugged, flipping the channel until the famous cartoon character appeared on screen.

"_CHOOOOOOCOLAAAATEEEE!"_

"Oh cool, the fishes like metal music." the redhead snorted, raising one slim, over trimmed eyebrow.

The room fell into a comfortable, curious silence as Demyx gazed at the screen with zombie eyes, and Zexion gazed at Axel much the same way.

Pots and pans clanged in the kitchen, and in less then a half hour, Roxas was calling everyone into kitchen for dinner.

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Dinner was a quiet affair (if one didn't count the ever exuberant Demyx's non stop chatter). Nine o' clock rolled around, bringing along tired children and parents who weren't going to be home until twelve.

"Did you boys have fun today?" Roxas whispered gently, patting each of the boys snuggling into Zexion's bed on the head.

"Yes…" Demyx muttered sleepily, Zexion quiet.

"That's good, sweet dreams." The blonde smiled, smiling once more before standing to full height and exiting.

Zexion lay in the dark, staring at the swirly patterns in the ceiling before whispering, "Demyx?" When no reply echoed his call, he tried again. "Demyx, you awake?" This time he was rewarded a small murmur and snore. "Lightweight."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Not even an ten minutes had passed before Zexion was rising from the bed, swinging his legs over the side and padding quietly off the blue spaceship carpet and onto the beige hallway floor. The house was quiet, despite the quiet television noise and talking Axel and Roxas were voicing.

"Axel, you were terrible today." Roxas groaned from the living room, as Zexion padded into the kitchen, straining his ears as he attempted to reach the Jackalope-O's off the top shelf.

"I'm so short…" he mumbled dejectedly, hopping up again.

"Yah, I told you Rox. I hate kids." Axel replied, laughter burbling beneath his words.

"Well you could have been nicer to them, they're kids for Pete's sake…"

"I played with them!"

"You made them nauseous." Roxas pointed out. Zexion, finally jumping high enough to snatch the brightly colored box off the shelf, tiptoed quietly to the counter in his feety pajamas.

"Maybe that," Axel snorted from out of sight, "was the game, Roxy."

"Jerk…" the bluenette muttered.

"Axel! That's so mean! Come on, I like Zexion. He's a good kid! And Demyx was funny too, he reminds me of a mini you. And you were' so mean to them! Axel, you said you'd behave and you know this meant a lot to me and- mmf!"

The sudden cut of Roxas voice, and the small smooth moan that followed, made tiny Zexion raise one fine, silver blue eyebrow. Why was Roxas suddenly quiet? Did that big, red-haired stranger do something to him?? He briefly entertained the thought of going out there and beating the living daylights out of Axel, but he knew he stood no chance. Perhaps he could wake up Demyx?

Plus, he needed Roxas alive to pour the milk for his cereal.

Deciding he should probably evaluate the situation first, Zexion shuffled around the corner to see what Axel was doing to R-…

Zexion stood dumbfounded at the archway leading into the living room. Axel had his babysitter pinned to the couch rest, but Roxas didn't seem to be struggling. Well, if he was, he wasn't doing it quite right.

The blonde let another quiet murmur slip and Zexion blushed violently. T-they were…!

Zexion took a few quiet steps forward, watching in silent amazement as Roxas wound his arms around into Axel's fire truck red mane.

Zexion wondered in quiet patience, as Roxas moved to slowly straddle his redhead, what Demyx would do if Zexion tried that. Would he make the same cute, pleasured sounds Roxas was making? Straddle him, pushed him into the couch and run his hands through Zexion's own tresses like such?

Maybe Demyx would take the position of Axel, though. Maybe it would be himself straddling the blonde, making noises and smiling into kisses as the two were so boldly demonstrating on the Valentine family couch.

"Ngh… Axel…" Roxas mumbled, and Zexion ran low on patience. He was, still, a ten year old boy watching two guys make out. It was still nasty, disregarding his own daydream.

"Excuse me."

"HOLY FUCK, ZEXION!" Roxas shouted, flipping backwards off the couch and tumbling onto the carpet.

Zexion chuckled quietly, ignoring the glare Axel was throwing his direction.

"W-why are you up?" Roxas asked, hopping off the floor and rushing to the bluenette's side. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"No," Zexion hid a sly smile behind his hand, "I was hungry. You looked pretty hungry too, Roxas. Why were you and Axel," the ten year old threw a hand in the redhead's direction, "trying to eat each other's faces?"

_____________________________________________________________________________________

"Zexion," Lucrecia Valentine smiled, bending down to run a hand through her youngest son's hair, "why are you still up?"

"Yes Zexion, run off to bed." Roxas smiled, bending down to pat the youngster's head. Axel said nothing, because he was no longer in the room. Or in the house. After the… incident… he'd been ushered off the couch and out of the house.

"_We can't risk you getting frisky with the kids around!"_

Zexion nodded, beginning to turn. "Wait, Zexion!" Shuffle, ball, turn back around to stare at his babysitter, who whispered with a faint blush tinting his cheeks. "Remember, keep what you saw a _secret._"

"Of course Roxas." Zexion nodded, grinning.

"Good boy." the babysitter nodded, standing and smiling at Mrs. And Mr. Valentine. "Bye, thank you!"

"No, thank _you, Roxas."_ Vincent nodded, "for coming on such short notice."

"Any time, bye!" the blonde repeated once more, before disappearing out the door with a quiet thunk.

"So, Zexion!" Lucrecia smiled, shuffling to the side to allow her husband to pass by her. "Is Demyx sleeping?"

"Yes, mother." the boy nodded, staring with his bright, cobalt eyes.

"And what happened to Axel?"

"He tried to eat Roxas face," Zexion snorted, moving past his mother to the couch to sit beside his father. "So I kicked him out."

Shocked, Lucrecia stared slack jawed at the young boy, asking him to clarify with a "… What?"

"It's not like Roxas said no, he ate a little of Axel's face too."

"…"

_Maybe a new babysitter could be fun_, Zexion thought. A babysitter who wouldn't mack on the couch…

Cloud or Leon from down the street looked nice.

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Cleon ref, because my lovely loves those two lovely lillies! (Oh man, I must be high.) So! Thanks for reading, I appreciate reviewing!


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